A wise Facebook friend emailed me to say that the concept of masculine and feminine energy is symbolic of the many dualities in our lives, and that we all seek unity.
This statement caused me to pause and consider dualities such as you/me, us/them, mind/body, good/evil, active/passive, right/wrong, happy/sad, love/hate, and black/white.
A state of duality perceives a world that is divided, but a state of unity understands the world as an integrated whole. Organized within a hierarchy, duality is grounded in the belief that "I am right, while my opponent is wrong." Unity, meanwhile, is established in the form of a circle, in which our differences complement one another as if to say, "We're all in this together."
I experienced this while working in Corporate. With high aspirations for our company's performance, I routinely asked people in other departments to step out of their respective silos, giving up their individual interests. By setting aside our differentiating factors, I believed that we could support a higher cause. These requests, however, were usually met with a lot of resistance.
The following are some of the things I learned to help take people from duality to unity:
1) Drop all distinctions and find common ground. List the things that both parties agree on and focus on those, rather than on the areas in which you differ.
2) When differences arise, listen and give others time and space before reacting to their comments. This tactic diffuses tension, ultimately reducing the struggle.
3) Recall instances when you shared agreement with your opponent, taking note of the sense of exhilarating success that you experienced in that moment. Allow that memory to shape your current interaction.
What I ultimately wanted in those meetings was the same as what we all want for ourselves: unity, rather than duality. Just as those individuals who criticized another department were in reality critiquing themselves, so too is it with our interactions with ourselves. We all possess both masculine and feminine energy; if we can accept this duality in ourselves we can allow both to influence us in a positive manner.Women are natural networkers but these 6 tips can make us even more effective:
1) Look people in the eye – A politician from our city taught me what not to do. As he shook my hand he would look over my shoulder to see who he would rather talk to and I obviously wasn't the only one as he is not an elected official today. Be present with the people you meet.
2) Stand up when being introduced – Don't fall into the sexist trap that says women can remain seated while being introduced. If you want to be treated like an equal, rise to your feet and shake hands with everyone all around.
3) Be an active listener – Make an effort to not only hear the words but listen for the true meaning behind them. Nod, maintain eye contact and smile to encourage the speaker. Reduce the pressure to add a comment of your own by prompting them to continue – simply say, "tell me more".
4) Keep moving – As interesting as one person may be you want to be sure to network by meeting others. To exit one conversation without offense create a "win-win" by introducing that person to another. Include something personal in the introduction to show you were listening.
5) Trust your intuition- Walk into a room, make eye contact with someone, and trust that is a person you should meet. Allowing your intuition to guide you removes a lot of the anxiety – you don't have to try meet and impress a lot of people. Those you are meant to connect with will feel like a friend already so relax and just talk to them.
6) Follow-up – After meeting someone you can remain "top of the mind" by phoning, inviting them for lunch or sending a thank-you note. Some make up kits in advance and put them in the mail that night when they are still fresh in peoples' minds. Others use technology such as Facebook to keep their name in front of those they have met. The key is keeping the connection alive.
